A Voice in the Wilderness

One Thing or Nothing (8-28-2006)
September 13, 2006, 7:37 am
Filed under: Memoirs

Ok, What am I? and Where am I? Right now, im completely lost in the midst of the worlds mist and so-called facts. So… Am I making it too hard on my self? Or my feet is just on my solid ground.

At 21, life’s not too easy (never is), and you know its getting serious when you and your dad just talks about these stuff at the heart level. But anyway, am i making it too hard on myself? Or am I in too deep with it, that i cant get satisfied by any other thing else but Him (notice the capitalizations, it matters). Yes, am I in too deep with Jesus, that I cannot simply go 30 minutes of prayer and do my own thing? Am I in too deep that i cannot think of that moment in time where i really felt Him, heard His voice and such? Did my passivity moved on?

Im done with my puppy food right now, Im done with simply listening to what people tell about Him, i want my meat, i want my own experiences, I want my own encounters with Him. And its not even that “i have to” or “i need to”, but thats what i really really want to do… I want to just spend hours and hours pursuing Him, and encountering Him. And if you ever encounter me on the road talking alone, now you know what im doing.

This weekend something just struck me, im depressed, frustrated and really feeling miserable of things i cannot explain. Some say that its because of relationships and such… Right now, Its going to be ONE THING (Ps 27:4) or NOTHING for me…

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“Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life,and I will live in the house of the Lord forever”
((((Bro)))) being THERE before…as bad as it sounds, it is in the middle of such torment and internal confusion that we hear God’s voice with an inimaginable clarity…” God shouts in our pains…” and it is in our brokenness that we can fully experience His soft touch…

HAng in there…


Comment by christiekk

You want to pursue Him? Then do it! After receiving salvation, aren’t we meant to live for God as disciples of Jesus Christ? What is a disciple? That thing that you’re just ‘itching’ for is to fulfill destiny, the call that God has on your life. GOD HAS MORE FOR YOUR LIFE!

Comment by Ron

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