A Voice in the Wilderness

Wonderfully Ruined
January 11, 2007, 5:39 am
Filed under: Musings

If theres something that I am, I would consider me as a wonderful wreck… All this worldly mumbo jumbo has certainly dug deep within myself and I’m completely caught up with that mess.

There was a time when I just gave up on everything that I believed. I just went and left that christianity that I want to mold my whole life to stuff, and went back to the easy, cool to society worldly affairs. I know, how could I… After all of the poems and articles that I’ve written, how could I.

I became a skeptic with the reality of who Jesus really is. Is He really real? Or is He a figment of our imagination. With that thought, I slipped, and got back to where I used to roll.

But there was a time that nothing could help undo the depression I’ve felt. Wrecked, ruined is what I am, then I remembered Philippians 3:7-8

” 7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ”

Everything else is really rubbish compared to the promises and what Christ really did to me. He came and went away disturbing the peace and comfort of where I am, challenging me to push forward, press for more and yearn.

I was mysteriously, unconsciously rather, yearning for that Great Unknown. My spirit is yearning for that Fullness of Jesus Christ. I was yearning for that everlasting joy, that eternal pleasures that the Psalmist described in Psalms 16:11. When He shows to us what life really is, what we should be gunning for…

This is the deep calling out to deep (Psalms 42:7). Our deep capacity that was created to contain that everlasting love our Saviour, Jesus, wishes us to feel, and be filled. This is why I think we dont get satisfied ever. Simply because the world offers us cheap simple joy’s, and cheap cannot fill up the deep, thats for sure.

The deepness and the vast embrace of our Father is calling us to open our deep, and vast embrace to swallow that our Father wants us to experience.

And now, with this knowledge, I believe that once we get to know Jesus and just rubbed elbows with Him even once, He will never let us go, even if what the world offers us false hapiness, He will never let us go away (Romans 38-39).

The realizations of these words have turned to passionate kisses to my thirsty heart, instead of just texts.

Hapiness, Satisfaction, the end of the road for our soul lies with Jesus after all…

Philippians 3:12-14

12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

With these all said, experienced and done, I urge you readers to press on even on our barren times when we dont feel anything whatsoever, He is there, waiting for us to arrive to where he is.

We might feel wrecked one day, but in confidence I tell you that these ruined state, the brokeness that we’re feeling, about to feel, or felt is worth the wait. The pain, and the anguish of the loss of that “feeling” will arrive in a different intensity.

Our deep yearnings will make us cry for Him, push more and just see that one thing (Psalms 24:7).

Desire, Longing, the burning passion that we used to have when we touched Jesus for the first time will rekindle into an everlasting burning flame once we awaken once again.

Forget everything behind, and always look forward, push beloved, push…


… Wouldnt that make you want to sing praises to Him more?

2 Comments so far
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I think every now and then it’s inevitable. We’re going to fall and question things, but it’s during those times that we have to draw a line: we’re going to follow or we are going to give up. Giving up is the easiest hard thing to do. And pressing on is difficult, because it’s lonely down in the valley a lot of times, and the hike up the mountain … well … isn’t always fun either. But it’s worth it in the end.

Comment by Justin

Bro, i liked this one.. we really do have times when we wonder and falter… but Jesus still waits for us. Its so good for us to remind ourselves of his promises and what He’s done for us. The proof that I see that He is alive is right there in front of me, when I look at you.. You are a testimony bro.. keep writing and using God’s gift to you!

Comment by raffy

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